"I love dance so much, but I feel too shy to dance myself"... One of the most common messages I receive on social media. You may experience the same, or maybe some of your students struggle with it. Let's talk about some possible reasons for such dance shyness, because before we can solve it, we need to understand its roots, and where it comes from.

Fear of other people's judgement: It may be the most unreasonable reason, but often we are too dependent on social approval. It comes from our human history and evolution: back in centuries when our survival was dependent on a tribe. Approval of a tribe was important, otherwise we could have been excluded from a group, and our chances of survival became almost zero. It doesn't apply anymore in the 21st century, but our brains are still wired in the same way. If your shyness comes from the place of "what other people will think of me", ask yourself: What's the point in stressing about the judgement of people whom you see for the first and last time in my life?.

Fear of disapproval from a very specific person: sometimes it's our close ones, like a husband, mom, daughter, and sometimes it's some random uncle Joe whom you see once per year at a family gathering. This can be the most blocking reason. But ask yourself: "Do I want to leave my life according to other people's expectations?" Most likely if anyone tries to put down your dreams, goals, or simply interests, it's because they are afraid to go after their real dreams. They feel uncomfortable seeing you trying to bring something new in your life, because it reminds them about their own flaws and inactions. Don't take those laughs, pokes or critiques personally. React from a place of empathy, and just accept that some people may not like or approve what you do. But you can have different opinions, and still love each other.
Fear of your own disapproval: what if it's so difficult that you never master it. So what?? Enjoy the process, don't aim for results right away! Yes, we all start as awkward beginners. Some people have irresistible self-confidence, and some people are super shy and insecure. But how would you know about the end results if you don't go through the process? And even if you don't become a dance superstar, it doesn't mean you failed. I love to remind myself about a saying: when people are dying, they usually regret things that they haven't done, not about things that kept them in their regular comfort zone. So put away your shyness and just go for it, so that at the end of your life you don't regret not trying NOW!

I targeted here the scenario of "dance" shyness in general, but exactly the same can apply to any ventures: starting your teaching activities, dance blog, costume atelier, enrolling in that competition, etc. Don't let anything block your initiatives, but most importantly, don't be that person who cuts her own wings.

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Author: Iana Komarnytska
Photographer: Pedro Bonatto